I always work best to deadlines.
NYC Midnight Flash Fiction gives me a random genre, location and object and 48 hours to write a 1000 word short story.
In the last round I came third in my group with Crater Lake.
THIRD!!!
One of the best things about this competition is the feedback from the judges:
”Crater Lake” by Beth Warren – WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY –
{2029} The world-building here is impressive, especially in such short form, and the society within the Crater feels historied, quotidian, and wholly living. This story was a fun and charming romp through an unique and compelling world, and I enjoyed the journey very much.
{2022} Your world feels so incredibly specific–you could almost map it. I especially love the descriptions of the mechanics used by Genna to communicate and travel through the various levels of the Crater. You really took the time to think about how things work in this world, down to the leather gloves needed not to flay the skin from the hands when traveling down the cables.
{1984} This was a nice, uplifting tale and I appreciated the teamwork and togetherness represented in the narrative. You have painted a desolate landscape and yet there is hope, so well done!
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK –
{2029} In later drafts, I’d like to see you experiment with stakes and tension within this story. As it stands, the threat of the droughts and the rains isn’t felt very deeply, and food isn’t shown to be in short supply. I’d like to see the effects of inclement weather on the workings of this society. Who goes hungry, for example, when there isn’t enough food to go around, and what are the options when the potatoes rot? Has Genna noticed herself grow thinner? Is she weak where she wasn’t before? Give your readers a sense of how important the discovery of the gem will be to this society, and your story’s ending will have much more emotional weight behind it.
{2022} Consolidate the magic system and mythology just a little more. What works in this piece is the industrial aspect of the crater–the rain gods and the gem that pumps water from the lake both felt a little bit vague. True, this solution would resolve the problems posed by a dry season, but you note that this point in time has been marked by excessive rain fall.
{1984} I think a lot of attention was given to the different creatures and landmarks inside Crater and it kind of obscured the overall narrative. It wasn’t really clear that the lack of running water was a conflict since it seems they have made due for some time now, for example. I didn’t fully understand where the Mynas fit into the grand scheme of things either. On top of all that, Genna’s place in this society, and the reason the story should be told from her perspective, isn’t really clear to me. There were some imaginative pieces in this plot, but I had a hard time connecting the dots to create a fully realized world.
See Beth Jump 